Why We’re All Screwed, But At Least There’s Snacks

You ever just look around and think, “This can’t be the best humanity has to offer.” Like, we’ve had thousands of years to figure this out, and somehow, this is what we landed on? A society where half the people are screaming like lunatics and the other half are too busy scrolling their phones to notice?

Let’s break it down:

The Loud Idiots (aka The ‘I’m Right Because I Said It Loudly’ Brigade)

These people? Oh, they love democracy. They love it so much, they’ve decided rational discourse is for losers and the only way to win is to yell the loudest. Facts? Science? Reality? Who gives a shit! It’s all about confidence. They just plant their flag in an opinion—doesn’t matter how dumb it is—and defend it to the death like it’s the last bag of Doritos at a Super Bowl party.

And God help you if you disagree. If you even suggest they might be wrong? Boom! You’re the enemy. Suddenly, you’re a communist, a fascist, a snowflake, or some other word they don’t actually know the definition of.

The Silent Morons (aka ‘Eh, Whatever’ Nation)

Then, on the other side, we’ve got the apathetic masses. The people who just sit back, watch everything burn, and go, “Man, that’s crazy.” No urgency. No engagement. Just one long, collective shrug.

These are the people who see actual insanity happening around them and instead of saying, “Hey, maybe we should do something about this,” they just go, “Ehh, the new season of Stranger Things is out, I’ll worry about it later.”
You ever try to have a real conversation with them? They look at you like you just asked them to run a marathon.

“Hey, man, what do you think about the economy?”

“Oh God, please don’t make me think.”

And here’s the thing—these two groups? They’re working together! Yeah! The loud idiots keep yelling because the silent morons keep letting them! It’s a perfect cycle of bullshit and laziness. The extremists set the house on fire, and the apathetic folks stand there like, “Well, it’s probably fine.”

Who Actually Wins? (Spoiler: Not You.)

Meanwhile, you know who loves this? The people actually running the show. The politicians, the corporations, the rich pricks at the top—they love that you’re all busy fighting each other over nonsense while they just quietly take all the money and fuck off to their private islands.


The whole system is basically a rigged carnival game, and you’re standing there arguing over who gets to play first. Meanwhile, the guy running the booth is laughing his ass off, counting your money.

So, What’s the Solution?

Well, for starters, maybe give a shit. Try thinking for yourself instead of just regurgitating whatever soundbite your favorite news channel or influencer fed you. Maybe read a book that wasn’t written by a YouTuber. Maybe—just a wild idea here—question things once in a while.


And if someone says something insane, instead of nodding politely and walking away, maybe go, “Hey, that’s dumb, and here’s why.” You know, engage! Like humans used to do before they outsourced their opinions to Twitter.


Or don’t. Keep arguing. Keep zoning out. Keep pretending your little echo chamber is the whole world. But just know—while you’re busy yelling or napping, the assholes in charge are making sure you stay right where you are.


And they’re thrilled about it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go enjoy a perfectly seasoned, plant-based meal and watch the world unravel—because at least my dinner didn’t suffer on its way to the plate.

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